15 Pounds

I have always been 'that' girl.

The girl we all hate. Who eats fries, and ice cream and pizza with reckless abandon.

The girl who disdains working out and when she hears about other people's workouts says things like 'Eww won't you get sweaty?!'

The girl who despite her horrendous diet, and mostly sedentary lifestyle still fits in her size 4 jeans from high school.

I have always been 'that' girl.

Until I wasn't.

2016 sucked. The last half of the year was awful. The first 3 months of 2017 weren't so great either. I will write in a little more detail soon about everything that was going on, but it was ROUGH.

I was going through the motions to make sure my child was cared for, my family who needed help was getting it, my job wasn't falling to shambles, and all my bills were paid. I was eating out all the time, and not great stuff either. I should probably buy stock in all the major fast food companies. I was going through bags of potato chips in 2 days. Family size boxes of Ritz crackers in 1. I was drinking ridiculous amounts on Pepsi just trying to keep my eyes open long enough to get through one more Excel spreadsheet. Then I was coming home and staring at Netflix in my bed for hours. This was beyond binge watching. This was depression.

When I came home from work last Friday I was fed up. My cousin had posted a picture of us from our weekend concert adventure and even though I posed strategically and sucked in, my tummy was sticking out. All day at work Friday the button on my jeans had been in the fight of its life with the button hole. This was the loosest pair of jeans I own. (Let's also give a moment of silence to the pair of jeggings that I split WIDE OPEN in the middle of the Phoenix airport.) Then there was the walk up a flight of stairs for a meeting that left me hopelessly and embarrassingly winded.

I marched straight into my mother's room and picked up her scale. I took it into the bathroom, stepped up and I already knew what was coming wasn't great.

I had manged to put on 15 pounds.

Fifteen.

This photo is scary to post. I'm still sucking in for dear life here.

This is the most I have weighed as an adult outside of pregnancy, and I mean come on, I WAS GROWING A PERSON.

So Saturday, I took my mother's dog for a walk. We went about a mile and a half which really isn't that much, but we were up and outside and moving. He loved it.

Sunday, I decided to try out a hot yoga class at a local studio. A former coworker of mine raves about this place, and another former co-worker taught classes there. They offer your first class free and so I finally bit the bullet and signed myself up for it.

Hot yoga. In 105 degrees. What kind of idiot who hasn't worked out since high school sports goes in for that kind of punishment.

THIS GIRL!

I sat in the parking lot for a minute because I was scared. I was intimidated. Then I realized it would be far worse to keep going in the direction I am and have to buy an entirely new wardrobe because frankly, I can't afford it.

So I went in. They had me all set up with a mat, and towel, and water. AND IT WAS HOT.

But I liked it. (I actually LOVE hot cars which is another weirdo thing about me....) The instructor came in and opened the practice with a quote.

It was just what I needed to hear, because I was about to go through some stuff in that yoga class.

I have never sweat so much in my life. My arms were shaking, my legs were shaking, and there were quite a few times where I found myself in child's pose on the mat. When it was all said and done though I felt fantastic. I went out and signed myself up for 10 more classes to hold myself accountable to go back. I totally get why some of my friends are workout FANATICS.

I'm not saying 1 hot yoga class changed me. It didn't. I had fries and a crispy chicken Caesar salad from Wendy's for dinner. It did make me feel better than I have in months though. I'm willing to make some changes in my behavior to feel like this on a more regular basis. I can't take care of Boomer or anyone else if I don't take care of myself.

So here's to not being 'that girl' anymore.